Monday, September 24, 2007

random updates

*** I got a Mandolin on Saturday. I've never played an instrument, tried guitar at about age 12, but gave up almost immediately. I'm really excited, and also feeling totally lost. I dont' read music at all, so it's an interesting challenge. I just emailed about lessons, eeek!

*** I still have a crush, on the same person, but haven't done a thing about it, except eaten a lot. I thought this would be easy by the time I was this old (actually, I guess I used to think I'd be happily married)

*** I've been wanting to talk about sex with my sunday school class, but we've decided to just let it come up naturally. Yesterday it came up once when we needed to find a second teacher, even though there were only four kids there. They asked why, and I explained it's about dealing with the (hopefully remote) possibility of sexual molestation. It's very weird to sit there and say to 4 middle school girls, essentially, "we have to do this because there are people out there who want to hurt you, or at least kids like you" ick.

Also, discovered that one of my kids really hates sex ed class because she DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW what boys "go through" in relation to puberty.

Hopefully more and better opportunities will arise, and I/we won't make a complete mess of them :P

Some days I so identify.....

Friday, September 21, 2007

I've been taking lots of photos of myself (and often one or more critters with me) lately.

This is my favorite, even though Phoebe is actually trying to get away....

It's like part of trying to "find myself" or something.

How 70s

Thursday, September 13, 2007

slippery slopes

So, my friend just sent me this column about fish eating as a "slippery slope" back to wanton meat eating (for us vegetarian types)

It's been on my mind a lot lately. I've been vegetarian for almost 21 years (my vegetarianism can almost drink legally?) and, like the writer, have recently wondered if I "should" eat some fish, or even other meat.

A few weeks ago, at the state fair, I had a bite of said friend's walleye cake. It was good, but not the experience I was hoping for/dreading. I have felt a bit "off" and had wondered if eating dead animals would provide some nutritional miracle, make it all better, and then I would HAVE to, at least if I didn't want to be some sort of masochist.

But, no epiphany, phew!!!!

and the drama leading up to it was extreme, should I or shouldn't I? what am I getting into here? am I selling my soul? (well, not quite, but kinda) for kind of an anti climax when it came to it. If nothing else, I should probably do that sort of thing every now and then to remind myself I've never been or will be "pure"

I've discovered, in myself and my own life, that I make "rules" when I don't feel I have the time or energy to be radically present all the time, to function with integrity all the time.

At this point I don't think it would be "bad" to eat some animals, if they were raised humanely, in some sort of harmony with a reasonable eco-system (like a biodynamic farm), and if it happened pretty rarely (maybe once a month)

But currently, among other things (primarily my emotional trouble with the idea of killing an animal myself) I just don't think I have it in me to be that conscious. It's so easy to talk yourself into things, and this isn't that much worse than that, spiralling along until you have no "standards" at all.

I find I think if I lived a life in which I was always acutely attentive to "God", this wouldn't be a problem, but the prospect of the thing is more than daunting, somehow.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Hope and renewal.

My dogs chased a bald eagle at the dogpark yesterday.

It wasnt' in much danger. It was swooping back and forth across the river, and they running down the beach yapping at it crazily. Still, it thought it best to take a more focused path out of there.

It was pretty darn cool, actually, to see it pretty close like that.

Especially 'cause as a kid I thought I'd never see a bald eagle.

Now I see them fairly often, at least a number of time per year, often a few times a month in the summer.

Which gives me hope that if people actually care about something it can change.

But the pessimist in me reminds me how hard it can be to get people to care about things.


Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Golden Compass

Nancy recently blogged about Harry Potter and the whole "christian" hullaballooo about it, which seems to have died out since the days of the early books. I highly reccommend her post.

And, in the comments, "The Golden Compass" came up. I saw a preview for the movie when I went to see the last Harry Potter one.

A friend had recomended the book as I was reading the first Harry Potter - as somehow similar, but better. I suppose they're similar in that their protagonists are 12 years old, and they're fantasy, and maybe that they're about good and evil, but very different books.

Someone commenting on Nancy's blog remarked that this movie would create more of a stir, as the author is not a christian, and the story is most clearly anti-church.

I doubt it, partly because it's a much less popular series, partly because it's MUCH more likely to be too hard to read for many kids (I can't imagine anyone under ten, or maybe 14, being able to get through it)

It really helped explain some things, when I first read it. Things I already knew, but didn't know how to say to other people. There's a definite theme of there being something beyond our current understanding, but organized religion has it ALL wrong, and in a really dangerous way.

I highly recommend the series ("His Dark Materials") I'm re-reading them at the moment (third time, I think) and am, yet again, a bit blown away.