I bought two blueberry bushes yesterday at the farmer's market, to plant in my front yard. I have a pretty standard urban lot, about 40' by 100' I think. The back yard is pretty much entirely shaded, the front yard must be about 40' by 20'. It's pretty small. Once I get the blueberries in, they will join 3 small raised beds for veggies (well, one is mostly strawberries - or will be someday, I hope), raspberries, a cherry tree (currently 5' tall, but full of little green berries), and rhubarb. My sweetie has fond memories of elderberries from childhood (I don't think I've ever had them) so we have to find a place for a bush (and apparently they're pretty big)

Last weekend I built myself a rainbarrel, with lots of help from a community programm (basically they bring you all the stuff and show you how to do it for $25 - quite a deal!) Though I still need to set it up (attach it to a downpipe, so it will take up the rain that falls on 1/4 of my roof - and I can water things with it later.)

I still dream of creating some sort of earthy faith community. That is not just about faith as removed from life, but faith in life, life in faith.

And what does that mean??? Do I have a clue yet??? Not much of one, admittedly. To me planting blueberries is an act of faith. Not just because it makes me feel earthy, not like faith that I will get to eat blueberries one day, not becaue it seems practical, or whimsical, but because it seems rightly led (maybe) - an integration, incremental though it may be, of life and food and nurturing (nurturing a plant, being nurtured by its food).. The fact that this ground the ground that I "own", live on, walk over every day, can grow food. I don't have to buy it from Dole. I yearn for the larger economy, the larger infrastructure, of my life, to be integrated (not to mention my own heart)

what about the faith that my own spiritual ground, my life, my street, my heart, can bear fruit?? To me they are the same, fully integrated, more than I can understand, but maybe just not more than I can meet with my whole heart.


love
Pam

Other folk's posts

So, Tim and David have posts this week that strike a chord in me, I think even the same one.

How do we fail to let ourselves be led because of our rootedness in the "real world" - what would it be to simply offer ourselves up to spirit? (and quaker process, and radical back-to-the land localism???) What if we didn't say "cool, but I have to make dinner/pay the mortgage/be realistic"

Would we all just starve within the week? Would it be too hard? I don't know too much about Marshall's upcoming trek, but I am seriously inspired that he's doing a seemingly crazy, risky thing, at the call of spirit.

And, even if we're truly called, it's no guarantee that we won't starve within the week. I still lack the faith, but I feel the call, not to do any particular outlandish thing, but to be fully open, my spiritual bags packed and ears open for whatever road calls to me.

Eek.

peace
Pam

5/09-

So, I'm struggling with the way my brain just wants to sit and watch all the infinite possibilitiies that come with every thought or experience dance around together and shoot off into infinity, and my trouble with snatching one and wrangling it into some coherent sentences so I can talk to other people about some stuff, but let's give it a try....


I have issues with Christianity. Has anyone noticed?


I'm not sure what to do with or about these issues. I can see the power of "the emergent church" - Sometimes I even feel like I might fit there (as an atheist christian, or therabouts)

I attended a local meeting of the Network of Spiritual Progressives last night, a group apparently spurred (founded?) by Rabbi Michael Lerner. He seems to have some ideas that I agree with, as well as some vision, but I don't see him as any sort of guru. A few times during the evening I got the impression that, while the group was clearly meant to be about some sort of social action, and perhaps spiritual growith, it made little forays into the territory of "Michael Lerner fan club" - which really turned me off.

5/21

So, I think where I was going with this is that I experience Christianity most frequently as a sort of "Jesus Fan Club" -

That, from my perspective, many of the things that Jesus taught were, for lack of a better phrase "right on" - love your neighbor, whatsoever you do to the least of these, etc. This is great stuff - I see in it some wonderful building blocks and blueprints for "the kingdom", "utopia", "gospel order", "how it should be"

And yet, putting aside the overwhelming experience of Christians (at least who get media attention, and presidencies) who dont' even care about this stuff, but about blood and salvation (as in "get out of hell free" cards) and some of the rules laid out in leviticus (but distinctly not others)

Put all that aside, and STILL most christians seem to me to be more interested (at least marginally) in hero worship than in building the kingdom. What happens if we use those blueprints, and those building blocks, and we forget where they came from, or disagree? what if someone wants to bring new ideas, plans, blocks, that can fit in an integrated whole, but don't match the original vision?? What if we built the kingdom but never said the name Jesus again (I"m not asking for that, It's an imagining) would it cease to be the kingdom??? Is it possible that Jesus would recognize it, even if we wouldn't recognize him?? which is more important???

peace
Pam